The True Test

At 9:30 on Friday morning, I got in my car to drive to my moms some 350 miles away. Having JUST quit smoking, I knew the drive might pose a bit of a challenge. OMG how right I was.  The Universe was definitely testing me that day. 

Because instead of a relatively easy 6 hour drive, it took me more than 10 hours to get where I was going. 

Ten fucking hours!  Through some of the worst traffic I've seen in all my 40 years. 

And yet I did not stumble. And did not smoke a single cigarette. Instead, I took back roads to keep the view interesting.  And listened to my cherished country music as loud as it could go (can't get any country stations where I live so I look forward to road trips where I can).  And even though it was the longest trip to VA I've ever made, it was surprisingly un-stressful.  I actually think that had I been smoking the trip would've really sucked.

So there you have it. The big road trip test is done, at an even more difficult level than I had imagined. In case you couldn't tell, I'm pretty fucking pleased with myself.

And....now I've got several more days to hang put with mommy before going home to the next big test -- going out drinking with all my still-smoking friends. 

Yippee! I'm a non-smoker!

Just finished reading Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.  And also just smoked my last cigarette. Ever.

I've stopped smoking before but it never really took. The last time I tried it lasted a year but then I stopped taking the meds.  Because silly me, I didn't want to be on psychotropic drugs for the rest of my life.  I lasted maybe a week after that. I fell into the same trap that many before me had also fallen into -- the "I can have just one" trap. 

This time will be different.  No drugs.  No nicotine gum or patches or substitutes of any kind.  This time I'm going in fully aware.  No more traps for me.  This time it will take.  I know it.  Because I know I'm not really dependent on cigs.  Nicotine, yes. But cigarettes, no.  So once that's out of my system I will be free forever.

Instead of 'giving something up', I'm gaining a whole new life.

Yay me!

Droid

Got a new phone today.  It has a blogger app. Amd so I figured I should give it a shot. And ya know what? It's super easy to use. Maybe it will lead to more blogging by yours truly.  :)

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Time to get my drink on. Although I'm not Irish. Not even a little. Except by marriage. So I suppose I do have a little Irish in me, from time to time anyway. ;)

Yeah - that's right....tasteless jokes are starting early this fine Paddy's Day morn.

And so in that vein....here's my favorite toast/Irish blessing of all time:

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn’t turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.

Lost Lessons from Footloose

In 1984, the movie Footloose was released. You know you know it. Kevin Bacon? Lori Singer (of Fame fame)? Crazy Christian town that has a ban against dancing? Don't be shy. You know what I'm talking about.

When I first saw this movie (somewhere around the time it was first released -- fuck, I may have even seen it in the theater), I fucking LOVED it. That much I remember. But its been ages, probably decades, since I last saw it so the details are a bit fuzzy.

But tonight I couldn't sleep. And there, on HBO Family, there it was. Had something else been available for my insomniac viewing pleasure, I might of skipped over it. But it was the best thing on (which actually says something pretty shitty about late night TV). And so here I sit, wishing for sleep, and watching.

And the crazy thing is....to my own surprise, I realized how political this movie actually is. Was. Whatever.

My point...Um. hello. Crazy right wing psychos forcing their religion down the throats of everyone else? Sound familiar? It could be the same fucking bullshit that is floating around today except instead of dancing, the question now is whether poor raped women should be able to get abortions on the public dollar. Not exactly the same, I know, but its still the same religious fucking douchebags trying to force their beliefs on everyone else.

Anywho, 1984 was quite a while ago, and yet tonight I realized that Footloose still has a few things to teach us (apparently because our society is led by a bunch of ignoramuses who can't learn from the past)...

1. It is SO not cool to punch your girlfriend. No matter how cute you are. And whether she was talking to another guy, as liberal as he may be, or not.

2. Book burning is bad. Even preachers agree. (On a side note.....yes, you are allowed to control what your kid reads. Of course you are. They're your kids. BUT, you are NOT allowed to control what MY kid reads).

3. The devil is not found without. He (or she or it or whatever -- I'm nothing if not an equal opportunist) is found within. So stop projecting you silly silly religious wingnuts.

4. People will follow the shittiest, most draconian, bullshit rules for no other reason than they're afraid to confront the status quo. Kind of like gays raised in Republican homes.

5. One person can make a difference. At least on a small scale.

6. Dancing can be good for the soul! (Even the bible agrees -- for example....."a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance" Ecc. 3:4; "Let them praise his name with dancing" Psalm 149:3; "Thou has turned for me my mourning into dancing; though hast put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness" Psalm 30:11)

There are probably others, but I'm already up WAY past my bedtime and am done thinking for the evening. Feel free to share your own Footloose Lessons in the comments. :)

New Year, New Life

On November 8, I started a countdown toward Thanksgiving. I didn't even make it to the second day. And that's because, quite simply, on the very next day I was abruptly terminated from my job. I spent the better part of my summer abroad working my ass off, and almost all of the fall shut up in a hotel in NYC working my ass off, and as soon as that was all over, what did I get? A nice big fat fucking boot up the ass. Not even a, hey, take your time, we'll help you find work, goodbye. A get your shit and get the fuck out one. It was ugly. But, looking back on it now, it was probably the very best thing that could have happened. Because not only was I given a push out of a job a didn't like in the first place, but I got to have one of the best holiday seasons of my life. One where I wasn't tied to my blackberry waiting for the other shoe to drop. One where I didn't have piles and piles of case with me to read. One where I wasn't going crazy at the last minute to find gifts, because I had plenty of time to buy them in advance. Like I said, it was awesome. A blessing in disguise, and one which I am still enjoying. Because I'm still unemployed, and will likely remain this way for at least a few more months. It will be the first time in my whole entire life since I was like 14 years old that I've not had a job. And I plan to enjoy every lovin minute of it.

2010 Book List

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown (on Kindle)
The Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder by ?? (on Kindle)

Mr. Golightly's Holiday by Salley Vickers
Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh (gave up on)
The Survivors Club by Lisa Gardner (borrowed from lending library @ Bay St Station)
The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen
Stalking Susan by Julie Kramer (borrowed from lending library @ Bay St Station)
Songs for the MIssing by Stewart O'Nan
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson (not yet registered)
The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
The Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
One Day by David Nicholls
Home to Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
Wetlands by Charlotte Roche
Burn This Book and Move On with Your Life by Jessica Hurley (bookray with a twist...http://www.bookcrossing.com/forum/20/6419292)
Wild Meat and the Bully Burgers by Lois-Ann Yamanaka
Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster
Learning Curves by Gemma Townley
Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres
Lovers and Players by Jackie Collins
The Third Angel by Alice Hoffman (not yet registered)
The Bad Behavior of Belle Cantrell by Loraine Despres