If you've stopped by to visit recently, you would have "heard" me rant about a particular little chef who owns a particular little restaurant in a particular little town in a relatively small state (yeah, that would be Jersey. Duh. Did you read the intro to this blog?). Well...this particular little chef, who also happens to be on this particular little TV show, was actually kind of stinking it up on the tellee for two weeks running. Like I said.
And then last week, she pulls out a juicy and tasty Thanksgiving turkey. Using a fucking toaster oven, no less. And while she doesn't win, she does get big fat praise from the judges. And I start thinking...crap. I should probably get on making that rez. But of course I don't. Because it's not enough that I've got a crazy job, I've got to add random party planning and shit to the list. So, like I was saying...rez doesn't get made. But so what, right? How many people have even heard of Montclair, NJ, right?
And then fucking TaNIGHT. The fucking bitch has to go and win the god damn Today Show challenge. Not any regular old run-of-the-mill fucking challenge, no! The TODAY SHOW CHALLENGE. And with a freaking caprese salad of all things (my favorite. figures.). And I think, "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck." ( while, of course, also being silently proud as hell of my ass kicking "old lady" Jersey girl!!! - her words not mine)
Now, I'm not upset that she won with a salad. More power to her -- hell, that was a crazy smart decision (Um, let's see....I've got 2 1/2 minutes to present a dish...what do I make? Ummm, duh, salad! And c'mon, who doesn't like 'muzzarel' & tomato, especially when there are tasty ass Jersey tomatoes involved?) My problem isn't that she made a salad. It's that those dumbass bitches on the Today Show picked a salad to win. Cause now Ariane is going to be on the fucking Today Show with lord knows how many people watching (and that's not even counting myself) and I'm thinkg she's prob.abaly going to mention her particular little restaurant, which just happens to be a mere 17 fucking miles from the fucking Today Show studio. Great. Just great. If it was hard to get a reservation before, it will be fucking impossible now. So yeah. I think I may be a particularly little bit screwed.