Confession

Forgive me father, it's been 5 months since my last post...

OK - so maybe that's a little sacrilegious, but I'm a recovering Catholic so I think I'm allowed. Anyway, I could rattle off any number of crappy excuses for not writing, but basically, life just got to be too much there for a while. That, and I think I became a little too worried about whether people were reading or not. Then I realized this has to be about me, or what the fuck's the point, ya know? So, here I am, back again. With nothing particularly important to say, just a need to vent.

The last 5 months have, well, in a word, sucked ass (OK that's two words, whatever). Aside from basement sewage floods and wrecked cars, DH and I have been at each others throats a little more than before. And, the way this country is going (can you say FASCISM?) is depressing me. And I don't mean "oh, that's depressing" kind of depressing; I mean the maybe I should be taking drugs for this unliftable sadness kind of depression. I've tried avoidance -- thought maybe if I ignore the bullshit, it won't bother me. But, you can't ignore it. But, I still try to stay away from the mainstream "news". Not like it matters, because as far as I can tell, the news is gone and has been replaced by what someone on AirAmerica called "Infotainment." Perfect word -- because, really, I don't give a fuck who killed Jon Bene Ramsey. But that's all you heard for days on end. Meanwhile, back in real news land, soldiers and civilians were dying, the census bureau was telling us how crappy health care in this country is, and a federal judge ruled that Bush broke not only a federal law, but the constitution as well. That's right -- BUSH BROKE THE LAW. And was this on the news? Fuck no -- instead we watched the patsy fall guy on the Jon Bene case walking with handcuffs through international airports only to find out later that, holy shit, can you fucking believe it, he didn't do it. Shocker. Fucking media manipulation is what it is. It's depressing -- and it pisses me off too, but what the fuck can ya do about it. You get up, you to work, you pay your bills, blah, blah, blah, blah. You try to find joy where you can, and try to shove off the rest.

Or, you start a silly little blog, vent your frustrations to whoever happens across your page, and hope it helps. Or, at least I'm hoping it helps. Because summer is over, and soon the days will shorten, and on top of my general melancholy, I'll be able to add S.A.D. to my list of ills. Ain't life grand.