Thursday, July 02, 2009

Danger Approaches

I generally avoid fast food. Not only am I 'allergic' to most of it (cause really - what's the point of a big mac without the sesame seed bun?), but I am well aware that it is total crap and completely unhealthy. Much of it only barely qualifies as food even.

But, I do have a few weaknesses, which until lately, have been limited to my southbound trips. There are the burgers at Five Guys, which I ALWAYS get when I visit the fam in VA. If you haven't had one of these tasty suckers, well, then don't. Because they're addicting. Granted I get mine without the bun, so my view may be skewed - but I'll tell you -- a tastier fast food burger I've not had anywhere. And they're slightly less bad for you than McD's or BK, so I don't feel guilty indulging a few times a year.

And then there are slushes from Sonic. Ice cold, frosty & devoid of any nutritionally redeeming qualities whatsoever (frozen sugar water is what they are I believe), Sonic slushes are my kryptonite. Blue coconut is my favorite. It doesn't actually taste like coconut, so I'm not sure why it's called that, but whatev - it's fucking tasty as hell. And hello, they stay frozen for-like-ever!! It's probably the 2 inch thick earth-crushing stryofoam cups they come in, but I'm not convinced there isn't some secret chemical who-the-fuck-knows-what that does it. Yet as yummy as these delightful treats are, I only ever get them when driving to (and, if I'm being honest, from) the Eastern Shore (VA) or OBX (NC). Or a couple times when visiting a friend in SC, cause she has a Sonic addiction and I didn't want her to have to drink alone.

Mind you, the ability to limit my intake of these completely unhealthy "food" choices is not a matter of will -- I wish -- it's a matter of there not being these particular fast food joints where I live. It's has been a great blessing to me. But now danger approaches. And it has reached practically to my door step.

In the very next town, Five Guys is setting up shop. There are other Five Guys in NJ, but not right next door. WTF? Til now I've been able to avoid them entirely (except, like I said, when in VA). But they've gotta open in the town where I do the majority of my drinking? I am so screwed. Let's just hope they close really really early cause me + a couple of Redbridges means Five Guys will be making some mad money off of me.

But that's not all - it actually gets worse, because at least Five Guys isn't next door to the bar or on the way there or whatever -- I will have to make a special trip 'across town' (yeah, like 1 1/2 miles) for a burger. What I will not have to make a special trip for are slushes. Oh fuck. Cause you see, on the way to the fucking MALL of all places, they're putting up a Sonic. Lord have mercy I am going to be in so much trouble. Cause you know sure as hell I won't be giving up going to the mall (hel. lo. jersey girl here. malls are like my mecca). And I don't what-the-fuck they put in those slushes but they're like crack. One taste and you are fucking hooked (or so I'm told about crack). And, while Five Guys food has at least some nutrients -- I always get grilled veggies on my burger for example -- slushes, on the other hand, can you say empty calories? I already hate going to the gym and now I'm going to have to go even more.

Shit shit shit shit. What next? Starbucks is going to start carrying gluten free baked goods? Fuck me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Look at it this way: at least you're fulfilling ONE of the eight glasses of water requirement, right?